Do people around you hold you back?

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SUMMARY:


My aim for today’s episode is to enable you to try out different ways of responding when you feel that people around you seem to hold you back from your evolving journey.

Point no. 1: We evolve in different ways

All of us have basic needs, not merely desires but profound needs that underlie and motivate every choice we make. One of these needs is the need for growth. Just like in nature, seasons change and everything eventually grows or dies; the same principle is true for humans as well. The only difference is that people have different ways of fulfilling this need. Some people satisfy the need to grow by working out physically or by reading books. Others need to study and learn constantly.

Point no.2: Assume responsibility

I truly understand that you feel that they are holding you back; however you have to realise that it is your responsibility to decide who, how often and if you want to meet with them. You also need to remember that we all have hiccups one way or the other; but it is our responsibility to decide how we would like to deal with those and what kind of impact other people will have on you.

Point no. 3: Lead by example

Instead of trying to impose new ideas on them, or become judgemental, lead by example! Become the best version of yourself consistently so that other people could be curious (or not!) to find out what it is that has helped you change so much!

And remember: we all share the same challenges. As long as we share and learn from each other, the better the quality of our lives is going to be.    

 

Full Transcript:

Hi, this is Eva Lychrou and I’m a Greek psychotherapist and coach in London.

Today our focus will be on the people that surround us. Do you ever feel that you’re outgrowing your relationships? I mean, do you ever feel that friends, colleagues or even family members sometimes seem to dislike or disagree with your more enhanced version of you? Do you ever allow these people to hold you back?

Here is what Nina wrote: “Hello Eva, I recently went out with some dear university friends.  After engaging in endless and meaningless gossip I came to realize that we share nothing in common anymore. Last time we met again, I had the same discomfort realizing that we have drifted apart, especially ever since I became more interested in personal development. Every time I tried to engage in a discussion regarding personal development, they were either trying to make jokes, or change the subject.  I was disappointed but I just didn’t want to accept how we move into different directions. It is sad… Does this mean that I cannot have them in my life anymore?  How can I leave them behind? What do you do when people seem to be holding you back“?

Nina, thank you for a great question! What can we do when people seem to hold us back from our evolving journey?

Point no.1: We evolve in different ways  

All of us have basic needs, not merely desires but profound needs that underlie and motivate every choice we make. I’m not going to go into explaining what these needs are, because I need another whole episode for that, but remember that one of these needs is the need for growth. Just like in nature, seasons change and everything eventually grows or dies; the same principle is true for humans as well. The only difference is that people have different ways of fulfilling this need. Some people satisfy the need to grow by working out physically or by reading books. Others need to study and learn constantly. Remember there is no right or wrong way of meeting that need; it is just a different way, and you seem to have a very different way than your friends.

Point no. 2: Assume responsibility

I truly understand that you feel that they are holding you back; however you have to realise that it is your responsibility to decide who, how often and if you want to meet with them. You also need to remember that we all have hiccups one way or the other; but it is our responsibility to decide how we would like to deal with those and what kind of impact other people will have on you. What I see mature people do is they stay close with their old friends, because they have been a significant part of their lives, yet at the same time they make sure they spend a significant amount of their time with those people who like to push themselves to their personal edge; people that want to create a positive change on a regular basis.  Usually those people are interesting, fun to be around; and in the end they make you feel more inspired, happier and fuller of a positive emotion!

Point no. 3: Lead by example

Instead of trying to impose new ideas on them, or become judgemental, lead by example! Become the best version of yourself consistently so that other people could be curious (or not!) to find out what it is that has helped you change so much! If you are interested in influencing those people around you, for whatever reason, e.g  to change their diet, or to start exercising, or start attending personal development events, always bear in mind that it is THEY who have to choose to do it.

And that takes me to today’s tweet:

because they act

Nina, these were my points to you! I hope they help!

Now I would love to hear from you. Have you got people around you that are not supporting your growth? How have you dealt with it? What have been your learning points?

Let me know in the comments below.

As always, sign up to receive updates from me at evalychrou.com and don’t forget this video with your friends.

And remember: we all share the same challenges. As long as we share and learn from each other, the better the quality of our lives is going to be.

See you next time!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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