How to keep going when things don’t go as planned?

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SUMMARY:

 

Let me start by saying that when things don’t go as planned it is not easy for any of us. But since life is bigger than that, let me share with you 3 strategies that will enable you to feel more in control next time.

Point no. 1: Accept reality as it is! Take your time to express how you deeply feel, so that these negative emotions don’t pile up. Allow yourself to feel this small break down.  Eventually you will reach a stage where you will be able to stand up again but for the time being, respect how you feel and don’t try to down play it.

Point no. 2: Experiment with different ways that will enable you to get some clarity and better understanding of the situation. Try whatever is more comfortable for you to ease your frustration and disappointment and ultimately the goal is to feel like more in control of the situation. You might find it difficult initially to understand what is happening and why this is happening, but trust me eventually you will get there!

Point no. 3: Whenever you are going through a rough time, it is best to avoid making any important decisions. Don’t make it harder on you by pushing yourself into making a decision right there and then. It is best if you postpone it until you reach the stage where you feel like yourself again. Unless something urgent comes up, don’t burden yourself with additional worries.

Over time as you do these things, you won’t feel so discouraged or unmotivated. You will sense more in control again, you will become more supportive and caring towards yourself.

And remember: we all share the same challenges. As long as we share and learn from each other, the better the quality of our lives is going to be.

FULL TRANSCRIPT:

Hi this is Eva Lychrou, Greek psychotherapist and coach in London.

Have you ever felt that you are running out of steam when things don’t go as planned? Do you find it difficult to motivate yourself for long when something or someone messes up with your schedule or your plan?

Let me jump right into Agapi’s question and she writes: “hello Eva, I love your tips, your authenticity and creativity! “

Thank you Agapi!

My question for you today is this: although I’m a very determined person, and I love what I do for a living, I find it difficult to get back on track when things don’t go as planned. For example if I have been working long and hard on a business project and eventually the client withdraws his interest and decides to go with another company, then I get seriously upset and unmotivated. It might take me even a couple of days to get over the hiccup and move forward. Usually it upsets my mood so much, that ultimately my performance and behaviour change tremendously. Do you have any tips to share for next time? Thank you, Agapi

Agapi, thank you for putting forward such a valuable question.

Let me start by saying that when things don’t go as planned it is not easy for any of us. But since life is bigger than that, let me share with you 3 strategies that will enable you to feel more in control next time.

Point no. 1:

Accept reality as it is! Take your time to express how you deeply feel, so that these negative emotions don’t pile up. If you are upset for example because a big project you and your colleagues have worked so hard for has fallen through, then allow yourself to feel the sadness or the disappointment. Allow yourself to feel this small break down.  Eventually you will reach a stage where you will be able to stand up again but for the time being, respect how you feel and don’t try to down play it.

Point no. 2:

Experiment with different ways that will enable you to get some clarity and better understanding of the situation. You can try talking to a friend, or someone from your team, or someone who has been through a similar experience in the past.  Make sure it is someone you trust that can guide you through your confusion, upset and frustration.

Other people find it more effective to write down how they feel, or take a long walk, go to the gym. Try whatever is more comfortable for you to ease your frustration and disappointment and ultimately the goal is to feel like more in control of the situation. You might find it difficult initially to understand what is happening and why this is happening, but trust me eventually you will get there!

Point no. 3:

Whenever you are going through a rough time, it is best to avoid making any important decisions. Don’t make it harder on you by pushing yourself into making a decision right there and then. It is best if you postpone it until you reach the stage where you feel like yourself again. For example, if you are going through a difficult time in your career, don’t complicate yourself even further by deciding whether you want to move countries at the same time! Unless something really urgent comes up, don’t burden yourself with additional worries.

Last but not least let me summarize the points from today’s episode with the following tweet:

happiest moment

Agapi, that was my advice to you. Let me know how it goes. Now I would love to hear from you.

How do you manage to deal with a setback? Do you have any other successful tips to share with us? Let me know in the comments below.

Sign up to receive updates from me at evalychrou.com and don’t forget to share this video with your friends; especially with the ones that might be going through a similar situation right now.

And remember: we all share the same challenges. As long as we share and learn from each other, the better the quality of our lives is going to be.

 

 

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