The truth is…
I can’t remember how many times I have been asked the question whether I get influenced by the stories I hear from my clients; the answer is “sometimes yes” depending on the reason of the referral. Fortunately I have managed to decipher the cases that I feel comfortable working with and the ones that I need to make a referral to one of my colleagues. However, I feel very lucky and privileged for being a psychotherapist as I get to hear very interesting stories, stories that people are trying to understand, to make sense, and to use as their own ‘turning point’. It doesn’t matter if people always get it right, but it is so respectful and honourable the fact that they are doing their best… besides I always get to learn new things about myself, either personally and professionally (…don’t worry I have my own therapist in case I need it)!!!
This is the story of a 30+ year old woman, who shared with me the following story, filled with honesty and dignity; you might find some things in common, or maybe not… ‘…I was recently invited to go out with a bunch of friends, whom I had not met for ages. It was a great opportunity to get together, have some wine and just chat about things. It was always very complicated to get together, due to workload, problems at home, etc. Despite the fact that we didn’t feel like talking about work all the time, it became inevitable. I had know these friends for quite some time, some of them, we were classmates and others I had known since I was little; however it was the first time that I felt we were able to be truthful with each other… I don’t understand why I get rejected from work all the time, said the girl who was still single. Every time I attend a job interview I feel there is always something missing, which makes me feel inadequate and unable to develop my professional career. I have been working hard over the last 7 years, I have completed my studies but the salary I get is nothing compared to my qualifications… The girl who had studied law shared her own frustration; she was part of a law firm where every partner was getting paid much higher than herself, but she felt that she was doing all the hard work, since she was the youngest of all! The discussion was interrupted when the other girl started mentioning about the fact that she was finding it very difficult to enjoy the fact that she had recently got married due to the fact that she was unemployed and felt useless; she couldn’t find any purpose in life, so she would spend all day long doing errands, while she was seriously contemplating the idea of having a baby… Then I felt like I had to share my own personal story, which of course was not far from what the other girls had already confessed; instead I felt the need to tell them that I was very glad for having spend the evening together, I felt reassured and comfortable by the fact that we had managed to see each other. I felt understood because I was facing the same reality. Despite the fact that we were all facing something unpleasant, professionally speaking, I was able to make sense what I had to do next. It was as if I was facing a mirror, the girls’ presence was my ‘wakeup call’, which had showed me what I needed to do next. I had realised that I needed to focus on the positive rather than the negative aspects of my life. I completely understood that I was given the chance to achieve personal development, as opposed of failure, and that was because of my interaction with these girls. I was no longer the exception, but I was very much part of this team. But I felt safe because we had something in common…’
Interesting and genuine, don’t you think?
Eva Lychrou is a psychotherapist based in London and Athens, helping people deal with family issues, relationship difficulties and self development in general.
For further information
t: 08002 494930 m: +44(0)7591916146/ 6977 387722.